What a relief to be able to say out loud what I've been living with as it relates to my future.
Not having dealt with the itineracy so directly in eight years left me forgetting what toll it takes on the person. And I've born the brunt of that for awhile.
There has been a clear upset of the spirit for some time preceding word that this was coming. I wonder if something in me was reacting to the "signs of the times" even before I was aware I'd be involved in something involving a pastoral change?
I've had some trouble sleeping.
Not so much depressed as distracted.
Slippage into unhealthy habits as it relates to food. I've picked up 15lbs. in no time.
Stuff emotions, much?
Of course, the last time I did this, and left the good folks up at Bemis, I recall now going through some of the same issues, except amplified by the degree of change we were bearing all at 0nce:
Had a baby on the way
Had to buy a house (for the first time)
Not nearly the degree of change from a personal standpoint, but signficant nonetheless, particularly as it relates to context and rhythym of work.
Being able to address what is true with those I currently serve now allows me to look on the horizon to what's coming with a growing sense of excitement and anticipation.
It is as if someone hit the release valve from the pressure cooker. The slow release of that pressure by acknowledging something was going on, helps me see how much pressure there was.
During these last weeks of Lent, it is time to refocus on my health...that of body and spirit -
Interesting thing, that. A truth shared is therapeutic. A truth repressed (or stifled) is a millstone.
Time for Weight Lifted, Weight Lost.