Blame Bill, Everybody Else Does (REVISED 10/3 with KO Commentary)

I have found the answer, my friends. Thanks to Fox "News," I have that for which I sought all my life - the ultimate excuse.

That ubiquitous entity responsible for all things that are wrong -

• in my life,
• my relationships
• my church
• local, state and federal governments
• the world
• for the rover crashing on Mars a few years ago (apparently, there was a math problem)
• for "Mission:Impossible III" underperforming at the box office (cause heaven knows it wasn't that freak show of a lead actor that had anything to do with it)
• for Memphis losing to UCLA in the Great Eight last spring
• for 9/11
• for Jay Leno getting David Letterman's job
  
• for gas prices being so high (but strangely falling like a rock just weeks before election day...hmmm)
• For "Law and Order" moving to Friday night instead of staying on Wednesday where it belongs
• for Katie Couric going to CBS (which is really just fine by me)
• for the war in Iraq
• for Kathie Lee Gifford, nuf said.
  
• for World War II
• for why people watch such idiotic shows as "American Idol" and "Survior"
  
• for the Civil War
• for why I'm overweight and hypertensive
  
• for why people don't take their clothes to dry cleaners anymore (o.k., this one may be true)
  
• for Watergate

For every problem I have had or the world will ever have has one commonality at root, and I'm so glad I can have someone else to blame for everything under the sun than to take any responsibility for myself, thereby perpetuating the illusion that I'm above it all.

That's right, folks - It's Bill Clinton's fault.

That SOB, I knew it.

Here's KO's take -