Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Too Much Right Now

Yes, I know it's been awhile.

Too much.

Too many "oughts" are running my life right now. And any sense of "ought" related to sitting down and writing something is about the one "ought" I can say no to without feeling the weight of consequences that accompany noncompliance with any of the other "oughts" in my life demand it.

The perfect storm of oughts can be heavy on the soul -

...seasonal church pressures compounded by the financial realities of our time papers to get graded for my seminary class by Thursday
...the thought that I have to compose something new and fresh around the Fourth Sunday of Advent, to say nothing of Christmas Eve
...I'm supposed to sing Christmas Eve, but I don't know what I want to do - something classic, something contemporary - ahhhhh! (any suggestions are welcome)
...I've been out 5 nights in a row - still to do

And yet, life goes on, and I'm hanging in.

Any preacher will tell you that their sabbath is not on Sunday. The same is true for this season. The push and pull between vocational expectations (too often trapped in nostalgia more than good theology) and personal expectations (and to no one's surprise - too often trapped by nostalgia, too) make it difficult to experience something of the season for one's own soul as they are leading others through it.

Which is why, after I offer the benediction on Christmas Eve, I'm done until the new year. Beyond the brief family jaunt up into West Tennessee, I'm home...doing nothing and anything. I'm even taking advantage of the wonderful pastoral team I work with and giving the pulpit to one of my associates.

You know, when I was an associate, I swore I'd never do that if put in a position of power.

Oh be careful what you say you will or will not do.

So I'm guessing, after some rest and recreation, some posts will pop up before the end of the year.

I mean, posts other than this one which I'm too busy to write right now!

1 comment:

Marcia said...

Suggestion for Christmas Eve: O Holy Night (because it is my favorite and the first thing I thought of when you said you were singing-always a pleasure!!)